Stupid guide to FMA
by NutmetalWriter
Summary: Spoilers for plot, characters, and anything. Inspired by the Fool's guide to AOT. (Is that what is it call? I forget.) You can review as many times as yo want.
1. Ed

**Edward Elric Profile #1**

Age-15

Gender- Male

Species- Dwarf + Human

Occupation-

Part-time researcher

Full-time military alchemist

Full-time Midget… (OW!)

Description-

A short midget alchemist with an iron arm and an iron leg that kills people that calls him a midget. He makes fun of his superiors for a living and currently in his family, there is an empty suit of armor for brother and a human philosopher's stone as dad. He is called the Fullmetal Alchemist. Also, he can transform into a crocodile once...

Likes-

Being tall and strong.

Dislikes-

Milk. Midget. Meow.

Deepest fears-

His brother being taller than him and swimming in a pool of milk.

Tips-

Don't call him a midget, no matter how much does he looks like one. Definitely don't call him anything with the words that are synonyms to short, tiny, midget, etc. If in a case of hostility, Inject Milk into his bloodstream.

Friends-

He got more friends than me. True.

Ratings-

9 out of 10


	2. Al

**Alphonse Elric Profile #2**

Age- 14? Or one thousand? Depends on his armor/ soul…

Gender- Male sounding female. I don't know. It's anime.

Species- Armor. Soul.

Occupation-

Part-time military pup.

Full-time Edward restrains

Full-time getting his helmet knock off.

Description-

A suit of armor with no life. Sorry, don't sound so harsh. Anyways, he is also known as the Armored Alchemist and have a weakness for girls and cats. His family is the Midget Alchemist- sorry- Edward Elric and a dad that he barely met with.

Likes-

A xingese girl and her panda

Dislikes-

Getting pull both literally and figuratively.

Fears-

Stuck in his armor forever

Tips-

When you make him mad, it is always a good idea to knock off his helmet. Never tried to outrun him or outsmart him. He is smarter, faster, last longer, and stronger than you.

Friends-

A lot. As long as they are fine with a suit of armor.

Ratings-

8.5 out of 10 (He could do better if he have a pet cat that can Crash people's property and make his cat a CRASH ARENA TURBO STAR.) Okay, jokes aside.


	3. Roy

**Roy Mustang Profile #3**

Age- 29

Gender- Male

Species- Firebender, human, and a car?

Occupation- Full-time Colonel

Once-time Hero of Ishval

Full-time Womanizer

Part-time strip club visiter (I wonder why…)

Description-

A womanizer that love girls. He love girls! No seriously, he make out with a sniper, some ladies, and once a trans. LOL! He also is a thigh person. He plays around with his fire, disregarding the fact that you shouldn't play around with fire. He also wants to be a president. He swore to change the military uniforms of girls in to miniskirts. His family is currently only a mother that runs a strip clubs, in which he visits often.

Likes-

WOMAN! THIGHS! FIRE!

Dislikes-

Ed, boobs, homunculus, water, annoying people, people that tells him what to do, men in general, a super muscle mustache man, etc.

Fear-

Uselessness…

Tips-

If you saw him down the streets, and you are not a girl, splash 100000000 liters of water at him. If you are a girl, smack him.

Friends-

He got barely any boy as friends, but tons of girlfriends. Not very impressive.

Ratings-

7 out of 10. (Who likes a womanizer with no friends?)

 **This is it for a little while.**


	4. Armstrong

**Alright, the review on this story is not going to be discuss because of religious reasons.**

 **Alex Louis Armstrong profile #4**

Age- Too big to be measured…

Gender- Male

Species- Human

Occupation- Full-Time Military official

Full-Time Bodybuilder

Part-Time hugger

Part-time crusher

Part-time- you know what, anything about bragging about the Armstrong family

Description-

The son of the famous Armstrong Family, he brags about his family's history and position. He is too soft to kill, unlike his sister who whip his ass before in a family quarrel. He was an alchemist before the military, but he was more noted for his mustache and muscles and his shiny looks. Not to mention he was a complete pain in the body if he hugs you. Literally.

Likes-

Bragging about the Armstrong family, Sig Curtis

Dislikes-

Killing. Wonder why he even joins the military for! Someone having more muscle than him.

Fears-

Wars. Dude, you are a major under the military and you won't even fight? WTH is wrong with you!?

Tips-

Run if you see him lumbering towards you. He may hug you. If he doesn't, do nothing, cuz he won't fight you.

Friends-

The ones being mention already in this guide. His regiment. Otherwise, barely anyone else. Hell, his sister hates him. (For being a pussy)

Ratings-

5 out f 10. WHICH MILITARY OFFICIAL RUN FROM WAR!? Okay, sorry generals today.


	5. Bradley

**King Bradley, aka Wrath profile #5**

Age- Dead

Cause- Scar, Old Man Foo, Greed, Buccaneer, and a lot of fail attempts at assassination...

Gender- Male

Species- Homunculus

Occupation- President of Amestris, all the time

Description-

A president that can kill you within 5 seconds. He can destroy tanks, armies, and alchemist within less than 1 hour. Seriously, he is too f***ing strong. The only time he died is by a solar eclipse in which Scar kill him when his eyes got blinded. Also, he brags that he picked his own wife, like a man!

Likes-

To brag he picked his own wife, Father's plan

Dislikes-

Crybabies.

Fears-

Nothing, not even g-d.

Tips-

Whatever you do, just tried to get in his good mood. You will know it is his good mood if he offers you a watermelon. Otherwise, say goodbye to your life.

Friends-

His homunculi pals. His son is apparently older than him, but he is a friend.

Ratings-

8 out of 10 (He is awesome when he fights, and I totally didn't rate him this because I am scared of him. WHAT? You don't believe me?)


	6. Envy

**Envy profile #6**

Age- Dead

Cause- Suicide

Gender- Male? Female? Trans?

Species- Homunculus

Occupation- Full-time Father's minion

Description-

A shapeshifter that likes to call the Protagonist short. He messes with everyone and tries to impress everyone with his true form. He can't say his secret, but he die in a pathetic way. He pull out his own philosopher's stone. Seriously?

Likes-

Showing off his 'true' form, Father's plan

Dislikes-

Showing off his 'true' form

Fears-

Showing off how pathetic he is. His secret

Tips-

Well, the truth is, he is jealous of Human. You often know if he is in disguise if the person is a jerk to you even though that person never was. If the person is a natural jerk, no difference. Just don't do anything to pist him off.

Friends-

His homunculi pals

Ratings-

3 out of 10 (Umm… in 2003, he kills off Ed and turns out to be Ed's long lost brother, and in Brotherhood, he dies in a very pathetic way. Seriously, what is wrong with this guy? I would rate him even lower if it wasn't for the Envy fans.)


	7. Lust

**Hey, don't die just yet, mr. Snip. There is more to go!**

 **Here is all I have to say for this review.**

 **Let's get the show rollin'!**

 **Lust profile #7**

Age- Dead

Cause- This girl is on fire!

Gender- Female

Species- Homunculus

Occupation- Full-time Father's minion

Description-

A hot lady who have extremely sharp claws that were used to kill people. Seriously, Mustang, a Womanizer (Profile #3? anyone?) hate her because of how she tries to kill Hughes. (Don't worry, he is coming up soon) However, Mustang's minion, (Sorry, loyal follower) fell in love with her because he is desperate for a girlfriend. Then she is dump. Seriously, she die by Mustang setting her on fire. (Cue the song, THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!) Just go on and on.

Likes-

Getting a boyfriend, Father's plan, Gluttony

Dislikes-

Getting dump by a boy

Fears-

Well, getting dump is probably her only fear- besides the fact that Father fails.

Tips-

If you see her, there is a high chance girls might be around. Honestly, you should avoid her the moment you see her, because she may flirt with you, and eventually, you may fall in love and get stabbed. Seriously, the only exceptions is Mustang and Hughes. Also Ed and Al. Also Barry. Any ordinary man, like me! Will fall for her.

Friends-

Her homunculi pals, especially Gluttony.

Ratings-

3.5 out of 10 (I give her a higher rating than Envy, but she is still one of my worse favorite homunculus. Serious, she is evil, but Envy is more pathetic than her. She is at the very least better than Envy in my opinion.)


	8. Gluttony

**Gluttony Profile #8**

Age- Dead

Cause- Eaten by Pride

Gender- Male

Species- Homunculus

Occupation- Full-time Father's minion

Part-Time Black hole

One-Time The Gate

Description-

A bald dude who eats literally everything for some strange reasons. He was a failed experiment to create something called the Gate, but he fail. Anyways, he ate Ling and Ed once by accident, and his own friend Envy. But they escape. Also, he love girls. He died in an irony-getting eaten while he suppose to eat.

Likes-

Father's plan, Lust, Girl meat (So sweet and Tender)

Dislikes-

Mustang, Lust's killer

Fears-

Lust's Death. Well, that happen...

Tips-

If you see him, run. There's a very low chance that he might not eat you. If your name is Mustang, I suggest you evacuate the town at this instance, cause he's gonna kill you for killing Lust. (Did you? Interesting question…)

Friends-

His homunculi pals, especially Lust.

Ratings-

4 out of 10 (Seriously, most of the Homunculus I rated so far have very low ratings because they are such a bored. ZZZZZZZZZZZZ)


	9. Notice

Seriously, I been update this so daily, I get so many views. Just Review, would ya?


	10. Hughes

**Maes Hughes Profile #9**

Age- Dead

Cause- Shot by Envy, disguised as his wife

Gender- Male

Species- Human

Occupation- Full-time Military official

Full-Time good friend and helper

One-time exposed conspiracist (Later…)

Description-

A nice military officer who helped Ed with his research, but he discovered a plot to turn Amestris into a Transmutation Circle. As a result, Lust and Envy were sent to finished him off. He died without telling Mustang about it.

Likes-

Mustang, Ed

Dislikes-

Amestris is a transmutation circle

Fears-

His exact dislike

Tips-

If you see him, warn him not to say Amestris is a transmutation circle aloud. My bad, they will still come after him. Is there no hopes of saving him? Is this his… destiny?

Friends-

Military friends. His wife. Quite a lot of people like him.

Ratings-

8 out of 10 (He tried his best to save his country. What a great man!)


	11. --- I won't mention his name---

**Hey hey hey! It's me, back again, and I receive a comment very recently… (No surprise, I a update daily…) I will do Greed and Ling seperate, but wait, in a different way!**

 **-Greed (Old)**

 **-Ling**

 **-GreedLing!**

 **Kay, things for asking. I very need a Beta. :(**

 **Now is time to do the guy we all hate**

 **Shou Tucker Profile #10 (I don't care if I wrote his name wrong.)**

Age: I don't care. He's dead.

Cause: Scar

Gender: Male

Species: Not EVEN A HUMAN! HE IS A MONSTER! (2003 accurate)

Occupation: MONSTER MONSTER MONSTER MONSTER SPAM MONSTER

Seriously, he is currently in Hell.

Description: I can't stand this. Here goes nothing-Holds Breath-

A monster who turns his wife into a chimera for the sake of money funds from the Government. He turns his daughter and dog into a chimera and taunts Edward after that. Death is cause by Scar, who was hunting down the State Alchemist.

\- Release Breath- There, I have to do him. It make me sick.-VOMITS-

Likes-

Turning people into chimera

Dislikes-

I don't even know!

Fears-

WHAT IS THIS MONSTER's FEARS!?

Tips-

If you see him down the street, call 911. The cops should deal with him accordingly. Seriously, if there is no phone available, beat him up. He doesn't even have any special powers, man. He can't transmute like Ed.

Ratings

0 out of 10 (He will be the only character that receive a zero in this guide. He's horrible.)

Double Middle finger at Tucker.

 **Meanwhile, a random guy is restraining me from typing any more hate comments about this guy (Tucker)... "WATCH A YOUTUBE VIDEO," He said.**

" **Kay." I follow what my therapist said.**


	12. Scar

**HEY STOP WITH THE F-ing RELIGION WARS ALREADY!**

 **Anyways… Let's go on!**

 **Scar Profile #11**

Age: ?

Gender: Male

Species: Human

Occupation: Part-time Hero

Part-time Serial killer

Part-time diplomat to Ishval (After credits scene in Brotherhood)

Description:

A Ishvalan that wants to kill all the State Alchemist for destroying his homeland until Ed told him the truth behind the war and who cause it. (Wait for it, it's Envy) After that, he travels North to find the answer about the truth about Amestris Alchemy, only to find out the plot. He helped Ed stop the plot and in process, killing Wrath. At the end, he and Miles went off to make peace with the Ishvalans. (I am serious, I am serious)

Likes-

Ishval and the memory of it.

Dislikes-

State Alchemist in general. Especially Kimblee. His name.

Fears-

It already happened, and it made him the way he is now...

Tips-

If you see him down the street, and you are a state alchemist, I suggest you tried to run away and don't attempt to take this guy heads on. Seriously, he will destroy you literally. If you are not a state alchemist, you have nothing to fear. Unless you pissed him off.

Ratings

7.5 out of 10 (He was a good guy at the very end, and I only hate him in 2003, for some reasons 2003 watchers might understand. Lust is his girlfriend in 2003. There, you see. Otherwise, he's cool in Brotherhood and the Manga.)


	13. Hawkeye

**Hey guys, I get 500 views! BIG HIT TODAY!**

 **Also, the new comment is very funny. Alright, in my opinion, Mustang transform into a dinosaur?**

 **Riza Hawkeye Profile #12**

Age: Probably much younger than Mustang

Gender: Female

Species: Human

Occupation: Full-time Mustang squad

Part-time president aide

Full-time sniper

Description:

An expert sniper that is very loyal to Mustang. She was one of the most scariest female characters of FMA in my list and she wouldn't hestiate to shoot her enemies. Anyways, her father was a researcher of alchemy, and she carries the formula, or at least once carried, to flame alchemy on her back.

Likes-

Guns and Mustang

Dislikes-

People that bugs Mustang

Fears-

Creation of a flame alchemist ad Mustang dead

Tips-

There is no way to avoid her, since she is already a sniper and she can snipe you down no matter how far she is from you. So, don't run, cuz you will die looking like a pussy.

Ratings

7.5 out of 10 (She is alright, and she is one of the scariest female in FMA on my list. Otherwise, she's alright.)


	14. Group: Mustang

**Mustang Gang Profile #13**

Members:

Roy Mustang (Leader)

Riza Hawkeye

Vato Falman

Kain Fuery

Heymans Breda

Jean Havoc

Affiliations:

Ed, Al, the military

Group description:

Mustang's most trustworthy squad of soldiers that are willing to follow Mustang to Death.

Likes:

Whatever Mustang wants, assuming it's not stupid

Dislikes:

Near-death experiences

Fear:

Water.

Ratings:

9 out of 10 (This is an awesome group of people that take their jobs seriously.)

(Background bickering) (Or not.)


	15. Old Greed

**Hey, DigiX, guess what?**

 **Your wish is granted.**

 **Greed (old) Profile #14**

Age: Dead

Gender: Male

Cause: Being melted by Father

Species: Homunculi

Occupation: Full-time gang leader

Someone who searches for the secret of 'true' immortality

Description:

A cocky bastard that want to find the secrets to immortality. So, he hired some goons to kidnap Al. Ed then come to the rescue, and he and Ed clash for about 10 seconds, and he run away like a pussy. Typical example of a villain. (Okay, I must admit I am just scamming over his parts, but hey, the other Greed is cooler)

Likes:

Money, Sex, immortal life, I want it all! (True quote, but I forget how it goes)

Dislikes:

Father's plan (The first and only homunculi to think so)

Fears:

Going back to Father's.

Tips:

Don't engaged in any combat with him. He will just harden his skin and beat you up. So, if you did pissed him off, offer him the secrets of immortality. (Hint: Drink a ton of mercury mixed with lead)

Ratings:

5 out of 10 (He is a so-so, but the other Greed is better and sexier)


	16. Teacher

**You're welcome, DigiX, now, if you please excuse me, I have a new chapter to share.**

 **Izumi Curtis Profile #15**

Age: Certainly not old

Gender: Female

Species: Human

Occupation: Full-time Alchemist

Full-time Housewife

Also, a monster :)

Description:

An alchemist that attempts human transmutation and also is a scary housewife. She definitely have my vote as the most scariest woman in anime. Seriously, she is so scary, she collaber the military's strongest regiment in less than a day, single-handedly. DAMN!

Likes-

Torturing people, calling herself a housewife

Dislikes-

People that call her old

Fears-

She get passed that already

Tips-

RUN! She will kill you in front of your face, and before that, if you asked her who she is she will said this with a lot of love, "I am a housewife."

Ratings

Too scary to give a rating (Seriously, she is so scary, she will kill me if I even give her a very low rating) (Background kungfu music) (CRAP!)

I died, (Did not, but I did get beat up by her.)


	17. Winry

**Winry Rockbell Profile #16**

Age: 14 or 15? She was the same age as Ed or a year younger

Gender: Female

Species: Human

Occupation: Full-time automail mechanic

Description:

Edward's personal automail engineer that will clobber Ed for breaking his automail. She was a childhood friend of Ed and Al, and she is the one that kept the two alchemist brothers in line. And she is doing a very good job with it by using her wrench.

Likes-

Ed Ed Ed. Also Al and automails

Dislikes-

Edward breaking her precious automail. And wait for it… "Boys who are shorter than me."

Fears-

People she love are dead

Tips-

She will not kill you no matter what unless you did the following three things:

Kill her parents

Screw up her automail

Do something stupid

She will kill you with a wrench 100% of the time

Ratings

7.5 out of 10 (She was an excellent character in FMA, but her obsession with automail scare me. Seriously.)

(Meanwhile, I broke my arm. OW!) (Just Kidding)


	18. Ling

**Hey! I like that comment! So, as a result, I would add that Hughes does love his daugther to a point in which in the 2003 anime, he show off his daughter's picture in front of a bunch of military officials!**

 **Anyways, let's move on!**

 **Ling Profile #17**

Age: Same age as Ed

Gender: Male

Species: Human

Occupation: He is the prince of Xing that's who!

Part-time Homunculi…

(Note: I decide he is chinese. But his looks are a bit too -racist?-)

Description:

A relax dude who was friends with Ed and Al. Also, he is funny in parts we does not expect him to be. He isn't even tried to be funny. LOL! Anyways, he seems to have a fear for doors, (View internet memes) and he is willing to do anything to accomplish his goals.

Likes-

To become a king. Ed and Al. And his bodyguards.

Dislikes-

Doors. Or do he?

Fears-

Doors. Everytime he is shown in anime, he always get in or out thru the window. (That's at least what I see.)

Tips-

Don't try him hand to hand. He knows how to sword fight, kung-fu, and other things that you probably don't know. Also, he have two maniac bodyguards that can clobber you inseconds. Seriously, don't mess with this guy.

Ratings

9.5 out of 10 (He is awesome as Greed and as normal! I like this guy so much, I will rate him this high!)


	19. Yoki

**Wait, those homunculi will come later. Crap, I think I should be doing someone.. Who was it… GRRR!**

 **Yoki (Hey, I remember!) Profile #18**

Age: I don't know.

Gender: Male

Species: Human

Occupation: Part-time robber

Part-time soldier

Part-time comedian

Part-time… You know what? He always have part-time jobs.

Description:

A cowardly man who does things for a personal gain, but as the story progress, he helped the protaganist a lot. He was also funny while he isn't trying to be, and he helped Scar escape some places. At least in Brotherhood. In 2003, he's useless.

Likes-

Money

Dislikes-

Death

Fears-

He, umm… is afraid of 100% of the life threatening situation

Tips-

Don't bother. He wasn't much to expect when fighting, so you can beat him up easily.

Ratings

5 out of 10 (He is average. He is okay. He is very helpful at times, but he is a wimp, though he was once a soldier.)


	20. Alchemy

**Hey, I recently received 1000 views to my Fanfic! YEAH!**

 **Alchemy Profile #19**

What is it?

Alchemy is the science (NOT MAGIC) of turning one element into another with the usage of transmutation circle.

Laws of Alchemy-

Equivalent Exchange- one thing is to be made with something of equal value.

No homunculi- you shall not create human

No gold- you can not create gold

NO PHILOSOPHER'S STONE- JUST DON'T

Alchemist-

Ed

Al

Mustang

Izumi

Honehenheim

State alchemist

There is a lot of alchemist, but let's not waste time on them all

Strengths-

AN alchemist can create things out of the road, rock, or even soil. They can fight their way out of most situations.

Weakness-

Alchemy can be disable by Father, the original homunculi.

Tips-

Don't try to be an alchemist. First, you have to know what is One is all and all is one, and second, you will have to suffer years of training. If you don't mind, then you can be an alchemist.

Ratings-

I give alchemy 10 out of 10, because without it, the entire story will not even happen.


	21. Poll

**Hey guys, sorry to interrupt the evening, but I am thinking about a new story and I want your opinion: Should I do it or not?**

 **So, this story will be a x-over between Soul Eater and Fma so if you want it, say aye in the poll.**

 **See ya.**


	22. Greed's Gang

**Hey, you found me out! This whole purpose is for humor and that's why its call stupid guide! Anyways, today, we're going to do Greed's old gang, and hey, vote in the poll. Don't write it in the review.**

 **Anyways, I answer all of your reviews. See you!**

 **Greed's old gang Profile #20**

Members:

Old Greed (Dead)

Some dog chimera (Dead)

Some big chimera (Dead)

Some snake lady (Dead)

I forget all their names. Sry.

Everyone in Devil's Nest, btw. (dead)

Oh, wait. I remember one. Bido. (Dead)

Affiliations:

Greed and Greed's goal. Those people are not accepted by life.

Likes:

Hanging out in th bar and get drunk and help Greed achieve his goals.

Dislikes:

Anyone who can single handedly clobber all of them.

Fear:

There boss Greed's death.

Ratings:

5 out of 10 (Most of them died, but still, they're okay in my opinion. But seriously, they can get clobber by Ed, Izumi, King Bradley and some other strong people solo.)


	23. Ling's bodyguards

**HEY! No writing it on the reviews! If you vote aye, vote it on the poll! Anyways, I did feel bad for Yoki. :(**

 **Xing Bodyguards Profile #21**

Members:

Ling

Lan Fan

Old Man Fu? Or Foo? I forget. (Dead)

Affiliations:

The prince of Xing- Ling. Their goal is to protect him!

Likes:

The secret to immortality. Ling's bodyguards and friends.

Dislikes:

Anyone that will try to kill Ling, anyone that offends Ling, and anyone who is a bitch to Ling.

Fear:

Their mission failed or Ling's death.

Ratings:

10 out of 10 (Ling is awesome, and his bodyguard is so good at Kung Fu and being a ninja and stuffs like that.)


	24. Mei

**Mei Chang Profile #22**

Age: 10 or 11? Maybe older, but she is so short.

Gender: Female

Species: Human

Occupation: Princess of Xing

Full-time martial artist and alkhestry user

Description:

A young girl that likes Alphonse that helped the Fullmetal Alchemist defend Amestris against Father with the use of Alkhestry. She is very useful during the fight, and she have a panda named… I forgot. Oh wait, Xiao Mei

Likes-

Edward initially. Then Alphonse. Xiao Mei, Scar and Yoki.

Dislikes-

'That thing'-Edward

Fears-

Her clan in Xing get wipe out

Tips-

She knows kung-fu, her panda bites, she can use long range alchemy, she can beat the crap out of you. Especially embarrassing if you are taller than her. (Which you are)

Ratings

7.5 out of 10 (She is good, and she made a good ally against the homunculi. Serious, this anime is about never underestimating short people.)


	25. Van Hohenheim

**Van Hohenheim Profile # 23**

Age: Dead

Gender: Male

Cause: Natural death

Species: Philosopher's Stone

Occupation: Philosopher of the East? Or is it the West?

Full-time homeless traveler

Full-time bad dad

Full-time alchemist

Description:

An extremely old man who was at the very least 500 years old. Seriously, does his sperm cells still reproduce in this age? If yes, then he would have kids. Anyways, he taught alchemy to Xingese people, who thought drinking mercury is the key to eternal life. He also become a father, and his enemy is Father, so umm… He at the very end try to be a good dad and he died naturally.

Likes-

His kids and Trisha, who die. He wanted to die too.

Dislikes-

He is a monster.

Fears-

Everyone he loved died

Tips-

He is your typical average old man, but you don't want to fight him cuz he know alchemy and you don't. Anyways, he can regenerate and you can't. The odds are against you.

Ratings

7.5 out of 10 (He is alright, I can't blame him for being a bad dad.)


	26. GreedLing

**Who should I do this time? This is the man you all been waiting for…**

 **GreedLing Profile #24 (YIPPEE!)**

Age: Dead

Gender: Male

Cause: Self sacrifice- what an Irony.

Species: Homunculi/Human

Occupation- Full-time being so cool and awesome

Part-time father's minion (Quit)

Part-time running a new gang (?)

Description:

One of the coolest anime character ever, and a good anti-hero, this guy have the combine awesomeness of Greed and Ling. He can defy gravity, beat up any one, and he have an ironic death. Also, he did not follow Father's plan like most homunculi, and he knows things others doesn't. What a great guy. Now, there is more to be said about this guy, but let's move on.

Likes-

Everything the world have, cuz he's greedy.

Dislikes-

Not having anything, cuz he's greedy

Fear-

No friends…

Tips-

You better join him, or you can't beat him. Seriously, this guy have the skills of the original greed and the Xing prince combine. Can you fight a carbon harden guy with kung-fu? Like I thought.

Ratings-

10 out of 10 (CUZ HE'S AWESOME!)


	27. Father

**You're welcome. Now, stop begging me for more characters. I will do all of them in time, or will I? Anyways, Middle Finger at them beggars.**

 **Now, it's time to introduce… the FOE**

 **Father Profile #25**

Age: Dead

Gender: Male

Cause: Get punched by Edward, and get suck into the portal of Truth.

Occupation- Father of Evil (Get it? FOE?)

A person who lives in the sewer planning evil plans from there and changing the country in a sewer. Seriously, that's what he is.

One-time Philosopher of the East

Description:

An evil villain of Fullmetal Alchemist that been manipulating the country in the shadows. Apparently on the top ten most powerful anime villain list, he could use alchemy with no limit, and in his ultimate form, he could create a minisun. THE BEEP! Also, he like to steal Hohenheim's looks. Seriously?

Likes-

Who knows what does he like? Probably suffering of Human. Wait, to be a god.

Dislikes-

Not being a god, I guess? Then he is living thru a period of long dislikes… hehe

Fear-

Going thru the portal of Truth

Tips-

RUN! He's the ultimate super villain that can kill you if you don't have any of the good guys on your side. Actually, you need all of the good guys just to beat him. Edward alone won't stand a chance.

Ratings-

He's pure evil. Go figure.


	28. Sloth

**Umm… Yep. Let's move on. I'm kinda lazy today so- AH!**

 **Sloth Profile #26**

To describe this entire profile in several words, this is a completely big waste of my time, too much work to do so in the first place, and overall describe Sloth with three words- TOO MUCH WORK. So, I'm not doing him, because too much work. Too much work even to give him a proper rating!


	29. Amestris

**Yeap. He's the beast. Now, I have to do something about stuffs…**

 **Amestris Profile #27**

This is the setting of FMA.

Okay, to do a land profile, we will stick of how it's a important to the plot line.

Amestris to plot:

Amestris the where most of FMA plot takes place in. So, since it was a human transmutation circle in disguise, those who know the Truth die. (Hughes) After a while, the Northern part of Amestris is in focus. Seriously, Amestris is basically the battleground for the entire FMA plot line. That's all I have to say about it. Alright, moving on…

Size:

Very big compared to many of our location I will mention.

Leader:

Fuhrer Bradley (Former)

Grumman (Current)

 **Okay, I'll admitted this is a little short, at least this is something, right?**


	30. Kimblee

**Solf J Kimblee Profile #28**

Age: Dead

Gender: Male

Species: Lunatic

Cause: Eaten by Pride

Occupation- A blood-thirst lunatic

Full-time State alchemist

Description:

An alchemist that loved suffering and is a lunatic. Seriously, this guy thought Pride's stone is singing a lullaby while the souls are getting torture. What type of guy is this?

Likes-

Suffering, Suffering, Suffering (I'm gonna do it for 10 times)

Suffering, Suffering, Suffering

Suffering, Suffering, Suffering

Suffering, Suffering, Suffering

Suffering, Suffering, Suffering

Suffering, Suffering, Suffering

Suffering, Suffering, Suffering

Suffering, Suffering, Suffering

Suffering, Suffering, Suffering

Suffering, Suffering, Suffering (think I emphasize this enough.)

Dislikes-

Nothing

Fear-

Nothing

Tips-

He wants you to run. He wants you to suffer. So don't scream or cry or whine as he kills you. That will make him upset and he himself will suffer. And it makes him happy that he himself suffer.

Ratings-

.25 out of 10 (Seriously, there is a point in front of the twenty five. This guy have to suffer. Alright, now he's happy.)


	31. Maroch

**Tim Marcoh Profile #29**

Age: Very very old

Gender: Male

Species: Human

Occupation- A doctor in the Military

The creator of some philosopher's stone

A researcher

Description:

He was an old doctor that help the Elric brother in many occasion, and he help them find out that Amestris could be a anti-human transmutation circle thru the use of alkhestry. He also have a very wrinkled face- thanks to Scar.

Likes-

This man have many regrets, so he want to redeem himself.

Dislikes-

His regrets

Fear-

A village being destroyed because of him.

Tips-

He's an old man, so you can just ignored him. He never want to fight people that did nothing to him.

Ratings-

7 out of 10 (This old man is okay, because he helped the Protagonist many times)


	32. Alkhestry

**How many of those we did? 30?**

 **Alkhestry Profile #30**

Alkhestry and Alchemy is basically the same, but different at the same time. Here's the reason why:

Alkhestry uses a purification circle that enables the user to perform long range to short range alchemy, where as Alchemist can only perform close range.

Alkhestry is mainly use for medical purposes.

Alkhestry is used in Xing, and can't be negated be Father

Alkhestry is founded by Van Hohenheim.

The portal of gate is unknown to be the source of this.

 **Forgive me, but this is to address some issues people asked about FMA.**


	33. Ishval

**Ishval Profile #31**

Plot significance:

This area suffer a civil war way before the start of the story, and it impacts the characters in the story during the original plot line. It gives some people vengeance (Scar) some people visions (Mustang) some people regrets (Maroch) and some people joy. This area is one of the site of the construction of the Human transmutation circle, and since it is part of it, the war breaks out with Envy- disguised as a soldier- shot an Ishvalan kid. The war ultimately ended with Amestris victory.

Leaders-

Unknown.


	34. 2003 exclusive

**2003 views. 2003, the year of Fma original anime and my birth year. Shit.**

 **Dante Profile # 32 (FMA 2003 exclusive)**

Listen, she was the villain of FMA 2003, so I suppose she was as strong as Father.

Wrong.

She is just an old lady that just want the Philosopher's Stone. She is a weakling. That's all, besides the fact she know alchemy. But anyways, not much can be said.

She have the help of 6 or 7 homunculi. I forget did Greed work for her, but she use them to complete her goal. They don't mind. In fact, in 2003, Envy is her on 300 years old son.

End.

 **Off stage. That was short? Isn't it?**


	35. Armstrong 2

**Armstrong Profile #33**

Age: Adulthood

Gender: Female

Species: Human

Occupation: Full-time General

Description:

The sister of the original Armstrong, she is very cold-hearted and strict. She is very tough, which makes since because she defend a fortress in the coldest side of Amestris. She threw a rebellion along with Mustang to seize control of the president's chair, and ended up defeating the Homunculi.

Likes-

Becoming a president and wrecking a whole bunch of enemies, killing all her opponents.

Dislikes-

Clueless officers

Fears-

Nothing

Tips-

She will cut you to pieces, and she won't hesitate to do it. She would dare you to challenge her.

Ratings

I left… TOO MUCH SCARY WOMEN!


	36. Facts 1

**Hmmm.. Let's see what am I gonna do today… AHA!**

 **FMA FUN FACTS**

 **(AKA Profile #34)**

Milk is evil and toxic to Edward (Or is it? There must be a good reason why Edward hates Milk)

The philosopher's stone is made of the lives to many people. According to FMA. In Real life, its ingredients is something different, and it only helps with immortality.

J in Solf J Kimblee's name mean nothing.

Edward Elric is not the shortest anime character, besides dwarves. No, I believe there are ones that are even shorter than him.

This Fanfic have more than 2,000 views after a month of its release.

 **Well, those are the ones for today. See you next time!**


End file.
